The Power Revolution of 2018

As I approach the mark of 50 years on this planet this spring I take a moment to pause. 2017 was a year of struggles and successes like any year before, but in the wake of so many changes in politics and sexual harassment allegations I take an even a longer pause. Recently heard the phrase, “oh you were Wiensteined!” I was talking with my teenager and a close friend recently about sexual harassment. We shared stories and sadly there were many. 

When I was 18 and had graduated high school I went to work at a Chi Chi’s Mexican restaurant the summer before leaving for college. This was the first job I had gotten on my own, not a job that I got through a family friend or connection, but that I went out and got myself. It was 1986 and the the female workers had to wear cotton blouses that were off the shoulder, accentuating our chests. That summer I dealt with a host/co-worker, Mike, who took it upon himself to “train” me. He was controlling and power-hungry about running the floor of the restaurant and often touched me when unnecessary on my waist, hips, rear, and bare shoulders. I dealt with him the entire summer. I remember being so excited when it was time to quit and looking forward to never having walk in the place again. Unfortunately, I had to go in one last time to pick up my last paycheck just before I was about to leave for college. 

I went in and avoided Mike, heading down the opposite side of the dining room through the stucco plant stands to the manager’s office in the kitchen to get my check. I thanked him for the summer and he said to check in with him during the holidays to work when I was home on break. I nodded and said “yes” even though I had no intention of working there ever again. Now I just had to walk straight out of the building without making contact. I headed out of the kitchen and he was on the floor seating a table of customers. I picked up my pace and made it through the heavy double doors. I felt a breath of relief as I unlocked my car and got in the front seat, but then there was the knock on the window. I looked up and Mike stood there, “heyah.” I pushed the automatic window button of my mom’s car and the window shot down all the way. He leaned in and I don’t mean slightly, he leaned in his whole head and left arm. “I can’t believe you were going to leave without saying good bye!” Before I knew what was happening his outside hand grabbed my face as he kissed me shoving his tongue into my mouth and then he grabbed at my chest. I pushed him away and started the engine. He backed up and I put the car in reverse and drove out of there. This was my first experience of sexual harassment in the work place, unfortunately not my last. I remember telling a friend and feeling so uncomfortable, but that was as far as I took it. For some reason I thought and questioned, “ok so this is how it is?”

Now I look at all the brave individuals coming forward telling their stories and I am so glad that the conversations are happening. You do not have to be a woman to be on the receiving end of this power trip, gender does not matter. Power hierarchies are every where and the personal narratives and testaments are the pieces of this revolution we are witnessing. We are faced as humans with a planet of other individuals also navigating life. As we move into the new year let's all try look at power as a responsibility, because that is what it is. How we act with any type of power is not about doing what one wishes or wants, it is about looking at how to act responsibly and look out for others. This is a time generations will look back and reflect on. How will you be remembered in this time? How do you want to be remembered in this time?

I wish you all peace and love during this transition into 2018 and onward.

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